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6 February, 2017

Discovering ourselves

by Arola Poch

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Not long ago I was asked “for the person on the receiving end, why is a session of foot fetishism better than sex?” After thinking about it for a moment, I responded “because you discover a non-genital sexuality. And it blows your mind.”

“because you discover a non-genital sexuality. And it blows your mind.”

I still remember the time. Desire flooded his eyes uncontrollably on seeing my feet. And when he started worshiping them, his passion was more than apparent. There was so much devotion that, each time his tongue flickered over my foot, I felt a wave of pure arousal course through me. He transported me to a distant place, far beyond the room we were in. The moment I returned, I was fully aware of the throbbing sensation between my thighs. And the wetness. In fact, I was so aroused I had to touch my clit. He noticed immediately and while his mouth –which hadn’t left my feet even for a second– remained fully absorbed in them, his hand moved up my leg until he reached my most intimate place, where mouth and hand in turn gave me an extraordinary orgasm.

Until then I was completely unaware of the erotic power of the feet. And as I said, when I noticed how extremely aroused I was, it blew my mind. “All that just from having my feet worshiped. WOW!” It was an extremely powerful feeling of self discovery. We’re taught that our sexuality resides in our genitals and other key areas (such as our nipples, for example). Of course, while we can’t deny the importance of those places, focusing on them alone is somewhat limiting. As is sticking with the same routine time and time again. We have an entire body devoted to pleasure.

It was an extremely powerful feeling of self discovery (…) We have an entire body devoted to pleasure.

As women, we have always had a complex relationship with our sexuality. For a long time, our bodies were pretty much limited to our vaginas. Sure, the clitoris came into play later but we were branded ‘immature’ at first if we used it for pleasure. Fortunately, we’ve come to terms with it these days and we’re now going one step further. We’re exploring our bodies to discover other, sometimes unexpected, parts that provide enjoyment. Feet, ankles, underarms, behind our knees, necks, thighs, forearms… Each place is so personal that it’s quite difficult to produce a truly useful guide to the erogenous zones. As for me, I’m totally unconvinced by those homogenising manuals that tell you ‘how to make love to a woman’ (or man). That all depends on the individual!

I’m totally unconvinced by those homogenising manuals that tell you ‘how to make love to a woman’ (or man). That all depends on the individual!

What we do have in common, though, is our need to feel pleasure. And we’re entitled to it. Those aren’t my words, by the way. In fact, they’re taken from the Declaration of Sexual Rights, which was approved in 1997 at the World Congress of Sexology. We have a right to sexual pleasure, as pleasure is a source of physical, psychological and intellectual wellbeing.

Of course, we’re still bound by some constraints in terms of how we enjoy our sexuality. Psychologically and socially, we have been subjected to many labels and these have left profound marks. But it’s time to relinquish those marks. Our bodies’ potential, our desire and our pleasure are all in our hands. And in those of whomsoever we give ourselves to…

Stumbling across a kinky lover (someone who practises non-conventional sex) who fully conveys his/her passion can help us to get to know ourselves better. For that reason alone, no matter how the encounter turns out, it will be positive in one sense. And if it does go well, we’ll discover pleasure in new places, new games and new situations. Sex is so much more than genitals. Sex is in the brain. We have to allow ourselves to discover it. To discover ourselves.

Our bodies’ potential, our desire and our pleasure are all in our hands. And in those of whomsoever we give ourselves to…

AROLA POCH

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Arola Poch is a psychologist who specialises in sexuality, with a degree in audiovisual communications. She is also the author of the blog La Luna de Arola, where she relays her positive and normalised view of sex. Poch places special emphasis on disseminating and normalising fetishes and sexual minorities. She has organised spaces dedicated to foot fetishism at different erotic shows (Barcelona, Porto and more) and gives talks and workshops on the topic and about sexuality in general. A University tutor in communication studies, Poch regularly collaborates with the written and audiovisual press, broadcasting her understanding of sexuality. Furthermore, she collaborates with Spain’s national radio station (RNE), where she has her own sex-based slot every Friday, on the “Esto me suena. Las tardes del Ciudadano García” programme.

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