We should definitely be talking more about senior sex. Most of the sex advice out there is catered toward people in their twenties and thirties, with the general idea being that once the mid-life crisis hits (or menopause...), then your sex life is dead.
The reality of sex and sexuality couldn't be further from the truth. Pleasure has no age, and everyone at every (consensual) age should be celebrated for their ability to experience pleasure and enjoy sex.
So, if you've hit the age where society thinks you should wave sex bye-bye as it passes you on the way out the door, and want to rediscover pleasure or find new ways to enjoy sex either solo or with a partner, then you've come to the right place.
Senior sex: your guide for great sex at any age
How does sexuality change with age?
While pleasure has no age, our sexuality does change with our age. Our bodies go through changes, externally and internally. And the way we feel does affect how much sex we have and whether or not we even want to have sex in the first place.
Research shows that men experience a decline in testosterone levels as they age. Testosterone is the key player in male sexuality as it's responsible for the sex drive, making sperm, producing erections, and much more.
With testosterone levels declining, it's natural that with older age, having sex might become a bit more challenging than before.
Women also experience changes in their bodies as they age which also can impact their sexuality. The National Institute on Aging reports that after menopause, the vagina might lack natural lubrication, which can make intercourse and penetrative sex less enjoyable.
Also, after menopause, women might lose interest in sex and feel much more moody and irritable, which happens due to hormonal changes. If your partner is always annoying you, it might be hard to get in the mood for sex.
However, despite the popular societal belief that women age out of sex due to all these changes in their bodies, research shows that sex remains important for women even well into their 60s and 80s. One study found that even 59% of women over the age of 60 who were in a relationship were sexually active.
Those women reported higher relationship satisfaction and those women who prioritize sex later in life tend to have higher sexual satisfaction. One of the reasons for that is that without having to worry about an accidental pregnancy, women tend to feel more liberated sexually and experience more sexual desire.
It's very possible to enjoy sex even as we age, and there are still plenty of reasons why you should have more sex at an older age.
Senior sex benefits
Sex gets better with age, there is no doubt about that. As you age, you become more confident in your own skin, and you learn to be less shy about what you want and need to feel sexually satisfied. These things lead older couples to have a much more satisfying sex life.
Another reason why you should continue enjoying sex even at an older age is the numerous health benefits all forms of intimacy provide. According to the National Council on Aging, seniors who have satisfying romantic relationships have lower stress levels, longer lifespans, and even shorter healing periods after surgery.
Sexually active seniors in satisfying romantic relationships are also less likely to suffer from depression and anxiety. A study that surveyed over 7000 older adults found that those who reported having at least one sexual event in the past year had higher satisfaction with their lives.
Let's not forget that sex is a form of light exercise. Staying active is important for older and younger adults to maintain a healthy weight which prevents heart diseases and diabetes, amongst many others. So, there are many reasons to enjoy sex well into your life, not only in your youth.
Tips for enjoying sex at any age
The way we experience pleasure and sexual satisfaction evolves as we age. Sex in your 40s won’t look the same as sex in your 20s, and sex in your 60s will be different from sex in your 40s. It’s natural for our sexuality to change as life changes.
Also, our sexuality changes together with our relationships. A long-term relationship of 5-10+ years will require you to put in more effort to keep things exciting compared to the early stages of your relationship when you’re both experiencing the honeymoon phase. That’s why it’s important for couples to continuously try new things together.
And trying new things might include things like being more open-minded about new experiences and changing the way you have sex. You might find that penetration isn’t as exciting as it used to be, and you’ll find that heavy petting, cuddling, and other forms of intimacy are much more fulfilling.
So, here are our tips to guide you to satisfying sex at any age:
Indulge in self-pleasure
Senior sex isn't about partnered sex. All the benefits of partnered sex apply to solo sex, so even as you age, you shouldn't neglect self-pleasure. Celebrate your sexuality at all ages and stages of your life.
As you get older and your body changes, you might notice that your masturbation habits also change. Remember to nurture your sexuality and adapt to the changes in your body to still find the time for some quality solo sex sessions.
Make sure you dedicate more time to it as it might take longer to warm up and reach an orgasm. Find new ways to turn yourself on with erotica or sexual fantasies. Involve sex accessories like the lube to enhance the sensations and improve blood circulation and bring in your favorite sex toys.
Redefine what sex means
As you age, certain sex positions might get uncomfortable, and sometimes, even penetrative sex might not feel as good as it used to. That's why it's crucial that you expand your view of sex to involve much more than penetrative sex.
Together with your partner, you can explore things like slow sex and tantra. It's focused on intimacy and deepening the connection you have and can feel very pleasurable. Spend time making out without the intention of going any further. Allow yourselves to explore each other's bodies with your hands and lips.
Maybe even try giving your partner a full-body massage using Bijoux Indiscrets massage oil, or make it a little bit naughty and use a massage oil candle instead. All these activities can be bonding and exciting to do with your partner, and just as satisfying as old-fashioned P-into-V sex.
Foster the flame outside the bedroom
Foreplay starts outside the bedroom. Being intimate with your partner outside of sex and the bedroom is just as important for satisfying sex life as having actual sex.
So, invest time in learning your partner's love language and find ways to connect with them. Sign up for a dancing class or a pottery course together so you have something new and exciting to try, which will help rekindle the flame.
Maintain a healthy and active lifestyle
Maintaining a healthy and active lifestyle is the key to a longer life, and better sex. It reduces the risk of developing diabetes, and heart diseases and promotes better brain activity. And, a healthy lifestyle minimizes the chances of developing an ED (erectile dysfunction) for men.
Now, maintaining a healthy and active lifestyle will look different for people. But generally, try to avoid smoking and drinking alcohol excessively, eat a balanced diet of whole foods, and do at least 150 minutes of brisk walking (or other moderate-intensity activity) every week as per CDC recommendation.
You might even want to add supplements designed to enhance your libido. Bijoux Indiscrets Orgasm Glow is designed with your pleasure in mind. The natural blend of herbs that promotes sexual health can be a great addition to your healthy diet to ensure your libido doesn't waver.
Practice safe sex
Just because you don't have to worry about getting pregnant while having sex at an older age, it doesn't mean you should forget about safe sex practices. Especially if you're having sex with more than one partner.
Sexually transmitted infections can happen at any age. And it's best to practice safe sex by using a condom and getting tested regularly. If you're changing partners, then you should do an STI test after each partner.
Also, remember that STIs can be transmitted through oral and anal sex as well, not only vaginal penetrative sex. So, consider using condoms for all sexual activities to minimize your chances.
Lube it up
There is so much stigma surrounding personal lubricants, but it's one of the best and easiest ways to improve your sex life. Using lubricant enhances the sensations, which makes sex much more pleasurable for everyone involved.
While lube is essential to sex at any age, it's especially great for senior sex. As we discussed previously, after menopause, you might find that the lack of natural lubrication makes penetrative sex uncomfortable. That's where lube comes in handy!
Experiment with different types of lubes to find one that works best for your needs. You might try Bijoux Indiscrets Aloe Vera water-based lube that's designed with hydrating and soothing aloe vera gel that makes it the perfect lube when you need extra hydration.
Water-based lubricants are best for sex with a condom, and for play with toys as it leaves no residue and it's super easy to clean up. Oil-based lubes might provide a long-lasting effect and are great for anal play, but they're not compatible with latex.