Letter from Bijoux Indiscrets
Introduction to masturbation
May has been deemed Masturbation May! Masturbation is a wonderful way to connect deeper with ourselves or with another person. It creates intimacy and strengthens our knowledge of pleasure which can help someone feel more empowered. Empowerment can play a critical role in our ability to give or receive pleasure, so if you find yourself struggling with this you may want to get to know your body better through masturbation or any kind of touch.
What is important to discuss?
It is important to discuss that masturbation does not have to be for everyone, or that there is no correct/lesser way. Masturbation is really about bringing yourself sexual pleasure through touch, toys, breathwork and beyond. You should never feel like you have to look or sound sexy, or even enjoy masturbation the entire time. Just like any sexual activity, there are highs and lows, so when you experience a low try to switch things up. Who knows what pleasure awaits you when you try something new?
Build your Ritual
A fun way to explore masturbation is through ritual. Create a fun ritual to prepare you and your space for masturbation. This may look like lighting a candle, to fill the room with a pleasurable scent. Putting on something you feel sexy in, like a robe, some special underwear or wearing nothing at all.
Your ritual may take time to create, and you may have many. Try different things like exploring with new music, satin sheets, or sex toys to build the perfect ritual or rituals.
Here are some suggestions using Bijoux Products:
1. Ethereal Ritual: The ethereal ritual focuses on combining self-care and pleasure. The idea is modeled after mythology and gods, connecting you to your inner pleasure, we suggest masturbating in the bath or with the shower head. Creating almost a trance as your body is cradled by the warm bath water. While the water is running apply some Bijoux Indiscrets clitoral serum on a part of your body looking for extra sensitivities, or our nipple play gel so you engage with more than one pleasure zone. Once the bath is ready ease yourself in and explore your body. Take it slow, maybe even bring a waterproof toy in with you.
2. Sensual Ritual: This ritual focuses on taking things slow, we suggest using our Slow Sex line of products to enhance your pleasure. This line was designed with sensuality and longevity of one's pleasure in mind. For this ritual, we suggest starting with a massage, if you do not have a partner feel free to massage a part of your body that is accessible to you like your feet, hands, breasts, and legs. Use a warming or full body massage oil depending on how you want to play. Explore different pressures and intensities while you work yourself up. To enhance the experience try listening to some sensual music and some sexy lighting. Once you feel warmed up apply a stimulating gel if you want some extra play or even using a toy to edge yourself to orgasm.
3. Self-love ritual: The self-love ritual is one of the most simple but powerful of the rituals. Really all you need to do is explore your body in front of a mirror, this may be more challenging for some of us but embrace the fear and challenge. Looking at yourself and your body while you experience pleasure is an incredibly powerful experience. If it is easier, try wearing something that makes you feel sexy and with each, time take an article off until you are left naked, gazing upon your gorgeous body as you orgasm and writhe with pleasure.
A visual look
Navigating masturbation can be a hard task, many of us grew up with a lot of misinformation on the subject which may impact the mental component of masturbation. To navigate this mental aspect, it is best to assure yourself verbally or mentally, and gently remind yourself that what you are feeling, wanting or doing is normal. You are not gross or evil for wanting to experience pleasure or learn more about your body. This may take time to work through, and even the help of a sex therapist, but that is okay, what is important is you are evolving as a sexual being. This process is hard but rewarding because masturbation is the first step towards sexual empowerment that radiates through other aspects of your life.
Once you have navigated the mental barriers, the next step is time and discovery. Practice makes perfect and this is the case with masturbation, the more often you explore the more you will learn and discover about yourself. That information can be communicated when having partnered sexual activity or give you a jumping point the next time you play. It may seem ridiculous but put sex on the calendar, and that includes masturbation. As we age our lives become more complex and we sacrifice our “me time” for other responsibilities. However, making time for yourself opens you up to all the benefits of masturbation such as a better mood, clearer skin, boosted immune system and beyond.
Communication and Masturbation
Communication is the most important aspect of masturbation, especially if you are doing it with a partner. Every body is different, and our bodies change over time meaning what feels good now may not feel good tomorrow, a year from now or anywhere down the line. Help your partner out by just being clear about what you want at that moment. Telling someone how you want to be pleasured is never a mood killer. If anything, it is a great way to engage the mind to intensify both people’s pleasure. Try using simple phrases to indicate your needs to a partner.
- Could we try this instead?
- I actually prefer it when you do this over that.
- Wow! That feels amazing, keep going.
- You make me feel really good when you ______.
- What if we tried that here _______ (insert part of the body)?
- Let’s try using a toy for some extra intensity.
Not only do these phrases offer a foundation for how to communicate but they will open the door for future communication and intimacy within the relationship. A key component of intimacy is communication, communication can be tough so a great place to begin the work is in the bedroom. Then let those moments provide you with the strength to have future conversations outside of a sexual setting.
TAKE THE QUIZ
1. Which ritual is the simplest but most powerful?
2. True or false: We all should look and sound the same when we masturbate.
3. _______ can help us feel more empowered with our sexual selves?
A: Sex Toys
D: All of the above
4. True or false: When masturbating with a partner we should check in with ourselves.
5. What is your favorite Bijoux Product?
1: A: The self-love ritual
3: D: All of the above
5: All answers are correct.